i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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