I heard we made out
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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