Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize
