my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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