We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
