I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
kristin has been a bad kristin
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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