i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
