Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bondingš
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him āfuck meā eyes during a lecture a few times.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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