My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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