If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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