dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
its liver damage thursday
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize