Your face is a jimmy john
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
