If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
