When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
