Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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