she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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