YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
How's work?
Spinning.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Dick very happy bro
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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