Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
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her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
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Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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