im holly from the hills drunk
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
