Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
