I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
