I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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