ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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