You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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