Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
