you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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