I accidentally had phone sex last night
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
