Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
