sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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