I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize