So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
