After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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