thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
