Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
it glows. i had to have it.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
