i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
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I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
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I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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