So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
