The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
