I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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