you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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