she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
