Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
