i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize