And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Randomize
