Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
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Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
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I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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