woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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