my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
