fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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