hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.