Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
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She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
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i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.