i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable