he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm passing your future prison.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?