last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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