Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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