Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
