i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
