Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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