Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
