i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
