Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
