Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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