i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
